The Impact of Anger and How to Manage It
Anger is a normal human emotion, but when it goes unmanaged, the costs can be high. It can affect our health, our relationships, and even our ability to think clearly. The good news is that with the right tools, anger can be understood and managed in a healthier way.
Common Patterns of Problematic Anger
Some people are more vulnerable to anger problems than others. Here are a few patterns that often show up:
Low frustration tolerance: Getting irritated easily or having a “short fuse.”
Judgmental thinking: Believing you’re always right and dismissing other viewpoints.
Perfectionism: Expecting yourself or others to never make mistakes.
All-or-nothing thinking: Seeing situations only in black-and-white terms.
Poor communication: Struggling to listen, share needs, or resolve conflict constructively.
Punitive mindset: Feeling others “should” be punished for mistakes.
Addictive tendencies: Using substances, gambling, food, or work as an outlet.
Using anger to feel powerful: Lashing out to avoid feeling small, insecure, or vulnerable.
Consequences of Unmanaged Anger
When anger is not addressed in healthy ways, it can spill into every area of life:
Physical health: Higher risk of heart disease, weakened immune system, digestive issues, and chronic tension.
Mental health: Increased anxiety, depression, irritability, and feelings of helplessness.
Relationships: Strained connections with family, friends, or coworkers; breakdown of trust.
Behavioral: Risk of destructive behavior or involvement with the criminal justice system.
The Three Ways People Handle Anger
Most people deal with anger in one of three ways:
Stuffing: Swallowing anger and pretending it isn’t there. This often leads to resentment or sudden outbursts.
Escalating: Letting anger erupt without filter. Those around you are left to deal with the damage.
Managing: Recognizing, expressing, and channeling anger in ways that are respectful and constructive. This is the skill that can be learned through anger management.
What Anger Management Really Means
Anger management isn’t about never getting angry. It’s about:
Recognizing triggers and early warning signs.
Understanding the thoughts and beliefs that fuel anger.
Learning strategies to calm the body and mind when tension rises.
Communicating needs clearly and respectfully.
Using anger as motivation to solve problems rather than create them.
With practice, managing anger can lead to stronger relationships, better health, improved self-esteem, and a sense of control over how you respond to life’s challenges.
Final Thoughts
Unmanaged anger can damage our health and our relationships, but managed anger can become a force for clarity, boundary-setting, and positive change. With support and structured practice, it’s possible to turn anger from something destructive into something empowering.
If you’re ready to take that step, I offer a structured, certified and evidence-based anger management program available in Victoria, Sooke, and online for small groups and individuals. Click Here
Paul Izenberg is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC), Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC), and Certified Anger Management Specialist (CAMS-II) offering structured anger-management groups and 1:1 programs in Victoria & Sooke and online across BC. Learn more about Paul, here.
If what you read here resonates with you, schedule a free 20 minute consultation or your first therapy session today. Click here
